Menk Hay Enk

Ever since Sevan was born, I have been trying to figure out what it means to be Armenian, so that I can explain it to him.  I think this is an experience shared by many Americans of different racial and ethnic origins.  Preservation of heritage, culture, language, and tradition is all around us.   He is an Armenian school drop-out (because I was too overwhelmed by Friday afternoon drives into Walnut Creek, especially after the divorce), though when he went, I was able to say this is what it means to be Armenian.  I have taken him to the Armenian Bazaars overflowing with hand crafted jewelry and burek far as the eye can see, explaining this is what it means to be Armenian.   We have traveled throughout California and the world for family parties, weddings, and events that allow us to gather with our people, hoping he’ll understand this is what it means to be Armenians.  We have marched with our family on April 24^th through San Francisco’s neighborhoods, hoofing it uphill to Mt. Davidson for Genocide commemoration and all the while I chant to him, this is what it means to be Armenian.   In America, I show him the external access points to being Armenian because I so fear that he lacks the internal ones, handed down to me from my Armenian parents, in our freshly emigrated household. I’ve been asked about a dozen times this past week “Is his father Armenian?” (how do you say “donor” in Armenian?) as a puzzled mayrig doesn’t comprehend how a boy named Sevan can’t speak his own language.  I am full of guilt and shame for all that I haven’t taught Sevan about being Armenian in America.  But I will say this.  Bringing him to Armenia with his cousins, his aunts and uncle, and his Medzmama was the single most effective way to show him, this is what it means to be Armenian.  Here, the pieces need no explanation as they come alive in front of our very eyes.

On our drive back to Yerevan from Gyumri, Hovig and I exchange stories.  I learn about his controversial courtship with Tamara, the time he spent overnight on that same highway as his car was literally engulfed in snow, and teaching his sister how to drive. 

Hovig and his gifts

 Along the way we stop for iced coffee, roadside apricots, and a friendly exchange with a police officer whose friend he happened to know, and told us to just “slow down” a little.

Incidentally, when we get pulled over, Hovig hops out of the car and approaches the officer.  I say out loud in the car “Jeezus, Hovig, you’re going to get shot!” and Sevan reminds me, “Mama, haven’t you noticed the police here don’t carry guns?” Right. No guns.  No murderous traffic stops.  What a concept.  

We talk about the kids in GLOW camp (he knows many of them since he teaches in that school) and I ask him about Lianna’s trip to Russia. How a 14 year old can take a bus by herself for 3 nights to another country and everyone thinks it’s normal.  He says “Here, it’s safe. When you see a girl riding a bus alone, everyone on the bus treats her like their own kid.  They make sure the kid gets to her destination safely.”  I say, “I would worry so much.” And he looks at me with gold toothed grin and says,

“Anshoosht, Hasmig jan, menk hay enk” 

Of course, dear Hasmig, we are Armenian.  

 We talk about how worry is part of the Armenian heritage. He says to me “I am 30 years old and my mother is still sick with worry that I am on this road right now. We are parents forever, we are children forever, we will worry forever.”  This part of me, which I have always fought against, tried to get therapy for, self-medicated, and loathed—this person who worries and wonders and worries some more, turns out, is just fulfilling her Armenian destiny.  And I have felt really troubled by how much I passed those anxieties down to Sevan—how he worries if I am a few minutes late to a meeting spot, for example.  It turns out, it might be the most Armenian thing I’ve given him!

Suddenly I look all around me and see the things we are, that make us Armenian: 

Long drives in cars where the objective is not the destination rather the destination is the journey itself.  Our entire childhood we would pack up the station wagon and drive to the mountains and the scenery on both sides was the trip. Sure there was a pond or a river waiting for us on the other side, but a big part of the trip was driving.  Our kids can attest to the hours we spent on the Harout bus here and they would ask “When are we going to get there?” to which the response was “Where is there?  You are here.  Here IS there.”  Hasmig jan, menk hay enk.  

In Armenia, peak hours for productivity and fun hover between 10pm-1am.  Mornings are for sleep.  Brunch is breakfast.  Hasmig jan, menk hay enk.

Everybody is so helpful everywhere all the time.  Our new friends have been so accommodating, flexible, and generous.  There is no inconvenient hour in the day and nothing more pressing than helping a friend or family member. Need an airport ride at 5 am?  Voch eench.  Hasmig jan, menk hay enk.

Though the patriarchy is alive and well, the tallest statue in the largest cities is still named Mayr Hayestan or Mother Armenia.  Hasmig jan, menk hay enk.

Like a good mother, she is everywhere and sees everything

There is always room at the dinner table for you.  And that dinner table is full of eggplant, 3 different kinds of yogurt, and lavash.  Hasmig jan, menk hay enk.

The children and their health is the most important priority of the family.  As long as the children are happy and healthy, nothing else matters.  On the other hand, they must be polite, deferential, and full of grace.  Hasmig jan, menk hay enk.

It turns out, there is a separate stomach for dessert.  Hasmig jan, menk hay enk.

Armenia is far from perfect.  Sexism, racism, and homophobia are alive and well here and thanks to the good work of people at PINK Armenia, Coalition to Stop Violence Against Women, and many other NGOs, there is some attention being paid to these issues.  Economic development struggles from region to region and in some parts, there is a real brain drain to places like Moscow,  with more employment opportunities.  There is government corruption and cronyism to be stopped.    There is poverty and inequitable access to resources such as health care and education.  But for every problem, there is a hard-working, unflappable Armenian behind the solution. Because Menk Hay Enk.   Armenia has given me the gift of a new compass, now built into Sevan and his cousins, of the directional elements of our culture I haven’t quite been able to explain with words.

An inspiring visit with PINK Armenia and Mamikon

It’s our last day in Armenia today and Sevan and I are walking down Abovyan street with his ice cream cone in hand.  He tells me of his plans to return next summer and find Harout and Hovig and everyone we’ve met in between.  We walk by the oversized chess set where he played with his cousins and the fountain where he and Shant and Amar escaped gusts of water droplets.  He tells me he will miss the people most of all.  Sure, the twice daily ice cream and the hand knit gifts that old men secretly stuff into his hands, but the people most of all.   Then he stops and said, “Wait, we are coming back to Armenia one day, right mama?”

Anshoosht, Sevan jan, menk hay enk.

GLOW'ing, the end but really the beginning...

GLOW Camp Day 5

Woman of the Day: Audrey Hepburn

Topics of the Day:  Conflict Resolution, Project Design and Management

Yesterday (Thursday) at GLOW was incredible.  The girls delved deeply into discussion about sex, gender, and the roles of men and women in society. They did a three corners activity where they had a list of occupations and had to decide if they were only for a woman, only for a man, or could be for both.  Then, depending on which corner they chose, they would defend their answer and try to convince the others they were correct.  There is a diverse range of opinion and exposure to these topics, making for fascinating discussions.  Most dynamic were the professions like make-up artist, baker, and engineer.  One of the girls was in the “man only” corner for engineer and I mentioned that my sister was an engineer she looked at me quizzically and then walked to the other side.  I sensed very little resistance among them, more curiosity and openness and a willingness to hear a different perspective.  The directors were careful to instruct the staff to allow the Armenian counselors to take the lead here.  I find the Peace Corps volunteers to be very conscientious of social and cultural norms, careful not to be intrusive or invasive while also committed to a progressive and expansive education.  The gentle balance made for a thoughtful and profound conversation amongst the girls.

"For Men and Women Both"--Lianna, second from our left, didn't move from this postion

Days like yesterday render me even more curious about the homes these girls go to at the end of the day.  Is what they are learning sinking in?  Is it in tandem with or in opposition to what they experience as young women in their homes? These are not unlike the questions I have when I teach back in the states.  I remember one year teaching the Armenian Genocide to a newly arrived Turkish immigrant and she was not resistant (that would have been viewed as impolite) but I am certain what I was teaching her at school was directly contrary to what she had learned at home.  I wonder so much how that must feel and how, as young women, they will reconcile new buds of resistance and change with traditional and familiar customs.  At the same time, there are girls for whom this is aligned with core values they’ve learned at home.  For them, I wonder, who helped them see this was possible?  Is there an engrained spirit we are born with or is it all learned through our environment?  A combination, I am sure.   I think about my own upbringing with a strong mother, three incredibly powerful sisters, and a feminist father.  Without them, I could have had a very different outcome.  Our parents actively chose a path towards progress for women and a place where they knew our full potential as women would be hindered only by the limitations of our own imagination.  And while women in America still experience sexism and gender bias on a daily basis, we have tools, access, and well-paved paths to follow.   I see this all around me in Armenia as well in my new Armenian friends…Shogher, Tamara; in the young Armenian counselors at this camp who exude power; in the diasporan Armenian women who work here like Sara and Lucy, and of course all of the amazing Peace Corps volunteers, too many to name here, who are serving women and girls (and boys!) across the country about reaching their highest aspirations.  

Speaking of powerful young women, Nevart was back to play with Sevan. They are a happy duo working it out in their broken Armenian and English.  Nevart is an example of a young woman being raised by a powerful mama (Tamara) and a conscientious, caring, and forward thinking father (Hovig).

In the afternoon, Victoria’s group facilitated a presentation about disability and difference using the life and story of Temple Grandin.  The girls identified their own struggles and how they overcome obstacles to achievement or success.   The U.S. embassy gifted the camp a set of the book Wonder in Armenian which is about a boy who has a facial disfigurement and has to navigate a new school and a complex social environment.  In addition to Wonder, they were given The Julian Chapter which is from the perspective of the bully.  The girls will read this and form a book club in a month with the partners at Nor Luyce and Victoria, who is the most excellent volunteer based in Gyumri.

Wonder and The Julian Chapter, gifts from the American Embassy

Today, (Friday), camp started with some impromptu dancing, a combination of Armenian soorch bar, Russian, and Georgian dancing.  It won’t surprise anyone back home that these girls can DANCE!  They are full of spirit and ruach.

The day is centered around five features of Conflict Resolution: Competing, Accommodating, Avoiding, Compromising, and Collaborating.   Depending on the setting, these are all differently appropriate responses to conflict.   The rest of the day was dedicated to Project Design and Management.  The objective is for the girls to come up with ideas of different community projects.  One session is called “Evaluating Needs” where they share ideas and brainstorm the needs of their community, neighborhood, schools, etc.   The second session is “Addressing Needs”, including what resources they will need.  The third session is “Creating a Plan””, including a framework for design and a timeline.    

Finally, the girls created a vision board for the project they want to undertake. 

 While each girl comes up with their own project, they will find collaborators among one another to work on similarly themed ones.  In the long term, GLOW would love to oversee project implementation with mentors in the community, but this gets them thinking about ways to develop their surroundings and how they can be agents of change.  When they meet back for the book group, they will check-in on the girls’ projects and help them adjust their objectives.

Project ideas ranged from better nutrition in schools and home to the one issue all of us have noticed, the garbage in town. It's hard to know what infrastructures currently exist to help them achieve their goals, but they are full of ideas for what changes would improve their lives and their community.

Women in Sports

New sports fields

Garbage Clean Up

There are so many beautiful moments at camp, it's hard to capture them all. In their free time, they sing, dance, and play us music.  Each of them harnesses a talent for an instrument, for the arts, for poetry, for playing, for writing, and for movement. They personify all the beauty of Armenia and all we've experienced.  It lives here in Gyumri, wrapped up in these young Armenians with dark copper eyes, thickly braided hair, brimming with humanity.

A blessed gift from Hovig...they don't sell these

Lianna playing the Kanon

Shogher with the congratulatory cake

A staff that rocks and rolls AND glows!

And their fearless leaders, Aislin and Maureen

Today, Armenia is GLOWing.

GLOW'ing Even Brighter, Back to the Classroom

GLOW Camp Day 3

Woman of the Day:  Tegla Loroupe, first African woman to win the New York City Marathon, world record holder for running, humanitarian, and peace activist

Topics of the Day:  Emotional Awareness and Mental Health, Physical Fitness/Nutrition, Environmental Stewardship

Tegla Loroupe

 

Our day started with some energizer activities including the game where there’s one person in the middle and they call out an item of clothing they are wearing or something they like and whomever else that applies to in the circle has to run around and find a new place.   As you can see, Sevan got in the mix as well calling out his love for different sports (American football is not so popular) and “who brushed their teeth this morning”.    In the counselor debrief yesterday, they discussed that getting the girls active in the morning and full of movement (games, dance) would make them more engaged in the day’s work.  It certainly proved effective!

Today I got the privilege of being a guest lecturer at GLOW Camp.  Regular duties aside for a moment, I got to do what I love to do most: Teach!  The topic I was offered was “Emotional Awareness and Mental Health”.  Aislin and Maureen put together a great curriculum that I was to adjust for my teaching style and run with!  And yes, it had to be all in Armenian.  Luckily, I had Lilith by my side. Lilith is an Armenian woman who spent a year abroad on the FLEX program (a highly competitive exchange program between the US and Armenia run through the US State Department and American Councils).  Lilith was there for me in case my Western Armenian proved incomprehensible and the girls needed an Eastern Armenian translation.  Surprisingly, I was able to implement about 90% without her help but her being my side was a huge support! The main lesson was around explaining what it looks like to be healthy and what it looks like to be sick and how sometimes people are ill (depression) when they look perfectly healthy.  We broke the girls up into groups of 5 and gave them scenarios of different struggles they might face.  They were to talk about the scenario and decide if that was social, physical, or psychological depression.  Then when we got back in the group, they were to discuss with a partner which of those scenarios was most relevant for their own lives and how.  They shared some of their responses out loud, giving others an opportunity to hear some of their stories.  Then we discussed ways that people can get help for the different struggles they feel.  One of the girls shared that the scenario about financial strife was something applies to everyone in that room and is something they can support each other through, by listening.   They spoke a lot about making one another more joyful and creating ways to cheer their friends up.  It was the first time in the camp that the girls opened up so publicly about their personal lives and the struggles that some of them have.  We connected the lesson to the life of Tegla Lorupe and how she overcame some of her own challenges.  Then they journaled for a while in their home groups and shared their reflections with their team. 

Dark room, but bright minds (not my PPT behind me, leftover from the previous)

Scenarios

Scenarios

 

Sevan has been a bit more engaged with the girls today. He is giving them lots of space (both because he is embarrassed and also because he wants to keep the integrity of it being for girls) but has started to play a little with them during the down time and was my trusted assistant during my presentation.  Today his work in the kitchen entailed cutting up the cucumbers, serving some snack, and wiping down the tables after snack and lunch.  He is also happy running small errands and in his down time, occupies himself in the basketball gym playing soccer or sometimes, logically, basketball.

From Sevan’s Perspective:

I like the camp so far and was expecting to have a little more work.  I like the location because the school looks nice.  Schools at home are not as pretty.  This school has a garden inside, upstairs!  I like the size of the school, which is big! Being the only boy around girls was weird for the first two days but now since I am apparently entertaining, I think we are getting along a little better.  I don’t think girls here are the same as girls back at home.  Girls back at home seem to have way less interest in boys than they do here.  I think because I’m an American boy it makes a difference but still at home if there was an Armenian boy in my school, he would be treated the same way as everyone else by the girls. .  I expect one day I might see some of these girls in their future doing something that’s important for the world, because they came to this camp.  I think a camp like this is important for girls in Armenia so they can feel more powerful.

For snack, Fruit

For so many of these girls, the novelty of this camp is having a safe space for their ideas, opinions, and feelings to matter.  Each day they come away with new strategies and lessons learned about how to be a powerful young woman in society.  Their questions are so earnest and expressions so sincere. It’s such an honor to be with them this week, to learn a little about their lives and situations, and to draw connections back to our own homes.  I have no doubt that if I were to stay in Armenia, I would only do work that was about empowering and developing the youth.  Like in Berkeley, it’s this nation’s best hope for change. 

Some photos from the day...note when they got a hold of my camera!!

If I could bring someone home...Gohar

Gohar's Road Map

Learning to use my camera...

That's Galya in the middle...she's the one who organizes the photos. Not. Shy.

Galya's Road Map

 

GLOW'ing

Sevan and I have split off from the group and made our way to Gyumri where we are spending the week working at GLOW:  Girls Leading Our World, a partnership between Nor Luyce, The American Peace Corps, and Youth Initiative Center based in Gyumri.  

My t-shirt, two sizes too small

The camp is for 25 girls in the local townships and Gyumri central.  Each day is themed off of a different global woman's life and has lessons and activities centered around that theme.  Lessons include Diversity and Tolerance, Emotional Awareness and Mental Health, Self-Esteem and Leadership Styles, Gender Roles, Determining Success and Obstacles, Human Values, Environmental Stewardship, Women in Society, and Conflict Resolution. 

The counselors are a mix of Peace Corps volunteers and young Armenian women, many of whom have spent one year on exchange in the United States.  They are an ambitious and enthusiastic group, full of Jambar (camp) Spirit.  Sevan and I are here to help in a variety of ways.  I am running a workshop on Day 3 about social/emotional health for the girls. I am also the resident documentarian as all three organizations would like record of the fruits of their labor.  Ahead of our time here, I've been working with the organizers on some of the lessons and activities.  My time in CAS at Berkeley High has proven very valuable, since community building and youth empowerment is something we strive for at home too. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Armenia from border to border, I am eager to sit still and roll up my sleeves and do some work in this country I so admire and respect.  Sevan is working in the kitchen preparing meals and doing odd jobs. 

The Lavash Chef

Our driver here is named Hovig.  Hovig is the PE teacher at the school and also drives folks around when needed.  He picked me and Sevan up in Yerevan and has been schlepping us around town while teaching me about education and culture in Gyumri. He is proud of his city and has opened my eyes up to its wealth of history and spirit.  Gyumri was not far from the epicenter of a devastating 6.8 magnitude earthquake in 1988 which killed 50,000 people and injured 150,000.  Much of the reconstruction took over ten years to complete and still much more is left undone. School #29, where we are currently working, was leveled in the quake and here's what's left of the original building. 

The foundation was all that was left of School 29; the mid-day quake meant the deaths of hundreds of kids here

So much of Gyumri looks like this.  Piles of rubble next to a brand new road.  A half gutted building next to a brand new one that was built but stands empty with a "for rent" sign.  According to Hovig, over half the population left for Russia or Georgia or Yerevan after the quake, unable to rebuild their lives here.   Nor Luyce and YIC are two of several organizations whose mission revolves around advancing and promoting the youth of Gyumri so that they can rebuild both the structures and the spirit of their city. Incidentally, we are staying at a guest house called "Villa Kars" which is also built around the idea of sustaining and fostering growth here.

Today, Monday, is day 1 of the camp at School 29, which now looks like this:

One of the nicest schools in Gyumri, according to Hovig

Today's lesson is based around the life of Zabel Asadour, Armenian writer, educator, and philanthropist who lived through the Genocide and started and promoted schools for Armenian girls.   The kids are doing ice breakers and getting into home groups to begin their introductions, their journaling, and establishing norms for the week. 

Speed Dating questions...if you could be any animal, for example

On a break from their home groups, played 20 questions with this super curious bunch

  The staff here is excellent.  They are motivated, trained, and the peace corps volunteers, who are not Armenian and have only been here for 11 months, totally make it through on their learned Armenian.  It's pretty remarkable to listen to a 3 generation American girl from Omaha, Nebraska speaking my mother tongue. They are rad. 

The staff is led by these two directors, Aislin and Maureen, both in their 25th month of Peace Corps Armenia (Aislin is electing to stay on one more year).  The camp has been revitalized through their leadership and that of Shogher Mikaelyan of Nor Luyce (who is the reason I am here).  

Aislin, Maureen, and Tamara (Hovig's wife who works at Nor Luyce)

Rules for the camp this week are simple:


1. Respect yourself and others
2. Be Enthusiastic
3. Be ready to learn more about yourself, others, and your community


SOMEone here is ready to follow the rules...

Sevan's Introduction

The walls of the school are covered in art

The caterpillar game

This is what listening to instructions looks like

Sevan with his new pal, Nevart, daughter of Hovig and Tamara. He made her a bracelet.

Gohar (with glasses on top of her head) had lots of questions for me today  :)

We are excited for the week ahead and to gain some new understanding of this part of Armenia and work with the people who are slowly, but most definitely, transforming it.